Rain on Emmas birthday.

Yesterday we had our first intense storm. It has rained here before but normally the skies clear up within an hour or two. Last time I was riding a tuk tuk over the mountains surrounding Patong beach. I could see a brilliant double rainbow rising from my hotel and landing in the centre of the bay. I requested we be drove towards it as my friend Matt once claimed to have driven through a rainbow. Based on my understanding of physics I thought it to be impossible. I can now confirm that it is. Anyway the rain cleared up and I never found my pot of gold. Last night, however, was different. It rained constantly for 6 hours. The most torrential rain I have ever experienced in my life.

The rain coincided with Emma's 27th birthday celebration. The girls made their way to our hotel, looking particularly lovely, all dressed in sarongs. We had a drink there and then made our way to an Italian restaurant and 20 of us sat down for a meal. Paul and my good self bought her some roses and Jan later continued the floral theme and got her some fragrant orchids to hang around her neck. Flowers are cheap and plentiful out here. Jan got the orchids for the equivalent of 30 pence. I had a sirloin steak (very adventurous of me).I have found the meat products out here to be somewhat bland. Even the McDonalds tastes slightly different. It must be what they feed the cows on. After that the more senior members of our group went back to the hotel and we made our way down to a go go bar. We drank in there for a while until I became pissed off at having to pay 8 pence every time I needed the toilet and being pestered by the bar girls.

As we drank semi naked girls danced on poles all around us often exposing themselves sometimes even playing with themselves. Now, every man enjoys a good perv and there were some large breasted ladies in there. Normally I would sit back and enjoy the show. The thing is women don't really have large breasts here. Alarm bells started ringing in my head. I looked at their necks - to see if they had thin ones and if there was an Adams apple. However, I'm told that they can have them removed. I listened to their voices - it was again ambiguous. I started to feel uncomfortable. Thai people don't seem to have the same gender hang ups we westerners do. Anyway, we left and made our way to an Ozzie bar, and drank there till the 2am curfew.

I staggered home - and decided to get a good nights kip - as today is a day of rest and relaxation. I might go and buy a genuine fake Armani suit later. They tailor them for you for around 20 pounds. If I go with the guys I'm sure we'll get a good discount.