Bangkok is a huge city - that isn't clearly laid out at all. There are several districts specialising in different things such as clothing, electronics etc.. but they are vastly spread out. There is no city centre. This place was definitely not designed with the man on foot in mind.
After speaking with the guys, we decided to check out Patpong - Bangkok's notorious red light district. This is not somewhere you should go if you are easily shocked or looking for a quiet relaxing time.
On arrival the first thing I was encountered by was a young elephant. Great! I'm very fond of elephants and monkeys. This place has both. I asked his owner if he was friendly and if I could touch him. The man agreed and very quickly another man appeared with a bag of food that i had to buy. Oh well, it was only 50p. I held the food behind me and gave the magnificent creature a single piece of exotic looking fruit. The elephant came up to me and started to rub me with his trunk - in way much more intimate than most of the Thai street girls trying to grab your arse/attention. His owner explained that he gets impatient and I shouldn't hold out giving him the food in individual pieces otherwise he will go looking for them. I left with a smile on my face and continued down the Patpong strip. We were immediately homed in on by lots of thai men claiming that they were our friends and that they wanted to want to help us out. I have heard are on a commission if i have a drink in a certain bar or sleep with a certain woman. It started to become very tiresome - and we weren't getting in much drinking. Eventually we decided on a visit to a ping pong show.
On arrival the first thing I was encountered by was a young elephant. Great! I'm very fond of elephants and monkeys. This place has both. I asked his owner if he was friendly and if I could touch him. The man agreed and very quickly another man appeared with a bag of food that i had to buy. Oh well, it was only 50p. I held the food behind me and gave the magnificent creature a single piece of exotic looking fruit. The elephant came up to me and started to rub me with his trunk - in way much more intimate than most of the Thai street girls trying to grab your arse/attention. His owner explained that he gets impatient and I shouldn't hold out giving him the food in individual pieces otherwise he will go looking for them. I left with a smile on my face and continued down the Patpong strip. We were immediately homed in on by lots of thai men claiming that they were our friends and that they wanted to want to help us out. I have heard are on a commission if i have a drink in a certain bar or sleep with a certain woman. It started to become very tiresome - and we weren't getting in much drinking. Eventually we decided on a visit to a ping pong show.
Once inside we were shown to our seats by the Mama. our beer was cold the price was right - and in 10 minutes the show was going to be on. The first lady inserted a pair of chopsticks into her private area and proceeded to pick up a series of hoops that were on the ground. Then she wandered round to every man in the bar and dropped one of the hoops over it. I decided at that point to hold onto my beer from then on. The second lady managed to suck up a half litre coke bottle inside her and empty it into an adjacent bottle. Also impressive. Next was the act we had been waiting for. The Mama walked round and handed each person a ping pong bat. I have never seen anything like that in my life before. She could aim it with an accuracy and range that would put even a veteran ping pong player to shame. If you managed to knock it back to her she would re-insert it and fire again. Paul got a nice rally going - i was less successful.
Most of the girls in these places are available for hire and as soon as the act was over we were swarmed by scantily clad Thai girls. Who were willing to tell you whatever you wanted to hear. If the Mama saw one of her girls wasn't having much luck with a man she would either replace her or shout at her in Thai - and the girls attitude would change completely. From flirty, to touchy, even to hostile. I quickly became aware that the exploitation runs both ways here. After having one of the ladies of the night lick my ear, I'd had enough of them sitting with us - expecting drinks. I told the mama that I wasn't interested. She said that if I didn't like girls - she could find me a man. I declined and we decided to check out next door instead. Bar after bar was the same. I was very concerned by how young some of the girls seemed and also how unhappy some of them seemed. After 2am in Bangkok its impossible to go for a drink anywhere other than a go go bar. We finally settled in a bar where the girls were dancing behind the bar with numbers on, seemed all to be old enough and had a smile on their face.
I sat down and looked to my left there was a Scottish lady there with a pair of devil horns on. I asked her what had brought her to one of these places? She explained that she was here with her new husband on honeymoon. "What on earth possessed you to let your husband take you here for your honeymoon" I enquired. "Actually, It was my idea" she replied. Her husband promptly returned to his seat next to her with a Thai girl on each arm. I decided to let the matter drop.
Finally at 6am I gave up the battle to stay up till sunrise and we booked a tuk tuk back to the hotel. I didn't know they were so rapid. As we cleared a flyover I swear we had some lift off. Paul decided to sleep out on the balcony whilst I opted for the luxury of air conditioning. It didn't seem to make much difference though as soon as my head hit the pillow I was being awoken to join people for breakfast.
Finally at 6am I gave up the battle to stay up till sunrise and we booked a tuk tuk back to the hotel. I didn't know they were so rapid. As we cleared a flyover I swear we had some lift off. Paul decided to sleep out on the balcony whilst I opted for the luxury of air conditioning. It didn't seem to make much difference though as soon as my head hit the pillow I was being awoken to join people for breakfast.
After breakfast it was clothes and electrical goods shopping. we went to the MBK center and proceeded to look around for cheap imitation clothes and electrical items. In this center there must be 500 shops all selling the same thing - I don't know why they just don't have one big shop. I got some t-shirts for about one pound each and Paul bought a PSP for a little less than you can buy it for in the UK. However, the real treat was that the games are one pound each instead of forty back home. As we left i noticed that this place, much like several of the other malls I have been to do not have automatic sliding doors. Instead opting for door attendants. Either salaries are very low over here or sliding doors are too expensive. I'm going to jump in a taxi now and head back to my hotel as I've managed to quite badly bruise my ankle on a piece of furniture - and want to rest it up. I also need some sleep before I go exploring again tonight. Lets hope its a little less sordid this time.
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