Yesterday we had nothing planned as a group. Janet was feeling the pressure of being group coordinator and Garry was getting on her nerves. I said goodbye to the girls and Garry and myself went down to the beach to hire a boat (to get out of Jans hair for a bit). Along the way we stopped at a bar, then another bar and another bar. We never hired the boat. I should have gone
back to the hotel at that point and sobered up for the evening. However, I met the guys in Molly Malones bar and sat drinking with them whist we were entertained by the bar staff. A man called Peepee showed us magic tricks as we drank with the help of his assistant and barmaid Crazy. I'm told its not her real name - she just likes the word.
I should have gone back to the hotel at that point and sobered up for the night time. However, the guys were going to a go go bar - and a powerful force inside me told me to carry on drinking. I haven't actually drunk very much at all on this holiday - it's hard to in the oppressive heat. That and the fact that bars close at 2am. This was a problem I was soon going to learn to
circumvent.
We played jenga and connect 4 with the bar girls for a while and drank more. I started talking to a man called Stuart who lives over here. He gave me the lowdown on which of the bar girls were lady boys - I relaxed a little and decided to have a perv. "That ones nice isn't she" I commented. "That's my fiance" he replied. Why would you let your fiance work in a place like this I thought? It's essentially a glorified brothel. He seemed happy enough with the situation - I guess it takes all sorts. Every time you beat the girls at a game they get you a drink. If they beat you then you have to buy them a lady drink (any drink from the menu - it just costs around 3 times as much as a normal one). We won continuously Eventually sick of the go go bar we wandered the streets of Patong having a drink in a few different bars. I should have gone home at that point and got some sleep. However, we came across an ice bar. Essentially its a big freezer and inside everything is made of ice. The chairs, the bar and even the glasses. We had been to one before - but this one was a cool -17 degrees. After a shot of something apple flavoured we returned to the heat of the streets - I've never been so grateful for it to be so hot.
After some more wandering we bumped into Garry, Jan, Sara, Ollie and Suzie. We drank more
with them and about 1.30am we had another torrential downpour. I bought a plastic poncho and continued with my drinking mission. The football was on at 1.45am and some of the guys wanted to watch it. We wandered around looking for bars that were still open to no avail. It was then that I came across a street vendor. Oooooh! these people sell late night Shinga beer I thought and knocked back two more. Everything then goes black and I awoke the next morning in my hotel room. A little grin came over my face - I was proud of myself for making it home. Then the headache and nausea started.
I changed my clothes as i was still wearing last nights outfit and made my way down to the hotel reception with thunder crashing in my head. Jan kindly gave me some paracetamol and I got into the minibus to enjoy a day sampling the activities you can do on Phuket island. Unfortunately due to another card error all last nights photos are lost. I was hoping they could have shed some light on where I went to.
The first stop was the All Terrain Vehicle Centre. We arrived early and had to wait for the
previous party to bring the vehicles back. As we were next door to a snake centre I decided to watch the show. A Thai man taunted cobras, king cobras and pythons as we sat and watched. Some of the snakes that bites contain neurotoxin can kill you in 30 minutes. The nearest hospital was 40 minutes away. I'm told that a snake charmer died last week - although that was in a road accident so it doesn't really count.
I was sitting next to Carol and the snake man offered to wrap the constrictor around our legs. "OK" we said and they coiled the snake around my left and her right leg 3 times. I was reminded of the 3 legged race we used to do at primary school. It was a strange sensation - I could feel all the muscles in the snake as it wriggled around our legs. "Try and struggle" suggested the man. I did and the snake immediately upped the pressure. To the point where I nearly wanted to yelp in pain. I'm not sure how Carol tolerated it. As he unwrapped us he explained that through holding his head away from us the snake was only able to exert about 10% of its maximum pressure. I'm sure that that sort of force would have quite easily snapped my leg bone.
Round the back of the centre there was an enclosure. I watched a few crocodiles, saw various other snakes and animals. When outside I decided to pay to have my photo taken with the Burmese python and a sea eagle.
By the time I had done this the ATV's were ready. The instructor told me to follow him and we
all sped off up the road. I was a little concerned that I was driving on a public road and don't have a license - but as no one had mentioned it I decided not to either. Also I was still half cut. I enjoyed using the ATV I just wish we could have had a little longer on the track we went to. I think were going to go again tomorrow. Fun!
From there it was to the Elephant park. We watched a show where the elephants stood on their front legs, back legs etc....Then the entertainer asked us if we wanted to participate. Paul volunteered to go in goal whilst the elephants took turns at penalty shots. Paul didn't manage to save one. As he returned to the crowd the entertainer asked if anybody would like an elephant massage. I put my hand up immediately. I was asked to lay on my belly and let the elephant put its foot on my back. I was a little apprehensive. But this huge beast was very gentle with me. I can only compare it to being patted softly on the back. He then asked it to give me a kiss - which it did. It's trunk reached around to my face and it sucked on my cheek - nasty. The man then asked Paul to return to the stage. This time he had to lay on his belly. As soon as Paul was on the floor the man placed two bananas in each of Paul's short and the elephant went looking. I suppose if I had an elephant massage - Paul had the happy finish.
Next it was off to the monkey show. I watched them ride bikes, dive underwater and collect
coconuts from the nearby trees. The monkey thing is really starting to loose its appeal now. However, I still want one as a pet. An impossible dream in England but as simple as dog ownership in Thailand.
I was starting to feel really hungry now - and was still under the weather from last nights frivolities. My mum phoned and we had a short chat whilst I got ready for my elephant ride. As there are only 3 single guys on this holiday I managed to bag an elephant all to myself. The others went in pairs one to the left one to the right. But I was able to sit proudly on the middle of mine. Someone commented I looked king like. It's about time people started noticing.
After a 15 minute ride we dismounted. We were now going for a short jungle trek to a waterfall. Oh good! I thought - this will give me an opportunity to scope out the jungle where I intend to do a good stink of next week. I thought also that maybe the canopy would provide some welcome shelter from the overbearing sunshine.
The jungle was not what I expected. I suspect that my previous perception of the jungle was romanticized by television and books like the Jungle Book. I always considered it a fun and exciting place to be. The noise of animals was overwhelming - there are insects there that sound like circular saws and have about the same volume. 5 minutes into the trek I started to become completely overwhelmed by the heat and humidity. The canopy does not provide shelter from the sun. It locks in all its heat and I don't think its possible for the air to get any more humid. We
wandered past a gibbon rehabilitation centre and I said hello to a few of its residents. By the time we reached the waterfall I was drenched head to toe in sweat and starting to become very confused and disorientated (I'm sure the 15+ pints I knocked back yesterday played a large part in this). I was disappointed that the waterfall was a slow trickle and they told me to come back in monsoon season if I wanted to see it in its full glory. I was assured there were no leaches in the pool under the waterfall and took a quick dip to cool off. As my brain returned to normal functionality I sat and watched Thai children jump from the rocky outcrop 30 feet above me into the pool I was sitting in.
Feeling slightly better I made my way out of the jungle. It was mostly downhill back and the thought of a glass of water kept me going. I drank two litres when we finally made it back to the man village. I'm never going to return to the jungle ever again. It's an evil and inhospitable environment suitable only for billions of biting ants, nasty reptiles and snakes who you would not want a bite from and the occasional Thai person who is foraging or extracting rubber from the abundant rubber trees. I have cancelled my jungle trek and instead intend to enjoy the luxury of
a decent hotel for the next couple of weeks.
We got into the minibus and set off to our next location to do canoeing in a local estuary. I was considering sitting this one out as I felt like death - having been unable to eat since last night and just having endured the horror that is the jungle. However, when we got there I was pleased to see that if you wanted a Thai person would do all of the rowing for you. It's more of a gondola type service. We set off through the mangrove swamp looking out for jumping fish, fiddler crabs (them ones with one big and one small claw) and them strange missing link type fish that climb up out of the water onto the mud flats and walk along on their stumpy limbs.
back to the hotel at that point and sobered up for the evening. However, I met the guys in Molly Malones bar and sat drinking with them whist we were entertained by the bar staff. A man called Peepee showed us magic tricks as we drank with the help of his assistant and barmaid Crazy. I'm told its not her real name - she just likes the word.I should have gone back to the hotel at that point and sobered up for the night time. However, the guys were going to a go go bar - and a powerful force inside me told me to carry on drinking. I haven't actually drunk very much at all on this holiday - it's hard to in the oppressive heat. That and the fact that bars close at 2am. This was a problem I was soon going to learn to
circumvent.We played jenga and connect 4 with the bar girls for a while and drank more. I started talking to a man called Stuart who lives over here. He gave me the lowdown on which of the bar girls were lady boys - I relaxed a little and decided to have a perv. "That ones nice isn't she" I commented. "That's my fiance" he replied. Why would you let your fiance work in a place like this I thought? It's essentially a glorified brothel. He seemed happy enough with the situation - I guess it takes all sorts. Every time you beat the girls at a game they get you a drink. If they beat you then you have to buy them a lady drink (any drink from the menu - it just costs around 3 times as much as a normal one). We won continuously Eventually sick of the go go bar we wandered the streets of Patong having a drink in a few different bars. I should have gone home at that point and got some sleep. However, we came across an ice bar. Essentially its a big freezer and inside everything is made of ice. The chairs, the bar and even the glasses. We had been to one before - but this one was a cool -17 degrees. After a shot of something apple flavoured we returned to the heat of the streets - I've never been so grateful for it to be so hot.
After some more wandering we bumped into Garry, Jan, Sara, Ollie and Suzie. We drank more
with them and about 1.30am we had another torrential downpour. I bought a plastic poncho and continued with my drinking mission. The football was on at 1.45am and some of the guys wanted to watch it. We wandered around looking for bars that were still open to no avail. It was then that I came across a street vendor. Oooooh! these people sell late night Shinga beer I thought and knocked back two more. Everything then goes black and I awoke the next morning in my hotel room. A little grin came over my face - I was proud of myself for making it home. Then the headache and nausea started.I changed my clothes as i was still wearing last nights outfit and made my way down to the hotel reception with thunder crashing in my head. Jan kindly gave me some paracetamol and I got into the minibus to enjoy a day sampling the activities you can do on Phuket island. Unfortunately due to another card error all last nights photos are lost. I was hoping they could have shed some light on where I went to.
The first stop was the All Terrain Vehicle Centre. We arrived early and had to wait for the
previous party to bring the vehicles back. As we were next door to a snake centre I decided to watch the show. A Thai man taunted cobras, king cobras and pythons as we sat and watched. Some of the snakes that bites contain neurotoxin can kill you in 30 minutes. The nearest hospital was 40 minutes away. I'm told that a snake charmer died last week - although that was in a road accident so it doesn't really count.I was sitting next to Carol and the snake man offered to wrap the constrictor around our legs. "OK" we said and they coiled the snake around my left and her right leg 3 times. I was reminded of the 3 legged race we used to do at primary school. It was a strange sensation - I could feel all the muscles in the snake as it wriggled around our legs. "Try and struggle" suggested the man. I did and the snake immediately upped the pressure. To the point where I nearly wanted to yelp in pain. I'm not sure how Carol tolerated it. As he unwrapped us he explained that through holding his head away from us the snake was only able to exert about 10% of its maximum pressure. I'm sure that that sort of force would have quite easily snapped my leg bone.
Round the back of the centre there was an enclosure. I watched a few crocodiles, saw various other snakes and animals. When outside I decided to pay to have my photo taken with the Burmese python and a sea eagle.
By the time I had done this the ATV's were ready. The instructor told me to follow him and we
all sped off up the road. I was a little concerned that I was driving on a public road and don't have a license - but as no one had mentioned it I decided not to either. Also I was still half cut. I enjoyed using the ATV I just wish we could have had a little longer on the track we went to. I think were going to go again tomorrow. Fun!From there it was to the Elephant park. We watched a show where the elephants stood on their front legs, back legs etc....Then the entertainer asked us if we wanted to participate. Paul volunteered to go in goal whilst the elephants took turns at penalty shots. Paul didn't manage to save one. As he returned to the crowd the entertainer asked if anybody would like an elephant massage. I put my hand up immediately. I was asked to lay on my belly and let the elephant put its foot on my back. I was a little apprehensive. But this huge beast was very gentle with me. I can only compare it to being patted softly on the back. He then asked it to give me a kiss - which it did. It's trunk reached around to my face and it sucked on my cheek - nasty. The man then asked Paul to return to the stage. This time he had to lay on his belly. As soon as Paul was on the floor the man placed two bananas in each of Paul's short and the elephant went looking. I suppose if I had an elephant massage - Paul had the happy finish.
Next it was off to the monkey show. I watched them ride bikes, dive underwater and collect
coconuts from the nearby trees. The monkey thing is really starting to loose its appeal now. However, I still want one as a pet. An impossible dream in England but as simple as dog ownership in Thailand.I was starting to feel really hungry now - and was still under the weather from last nights frivolities. My mum phoned and we had a short chat whilst I got ready for my elephant ride. As there are only 3 single guys on this holiday I managed to bag an elephant all to myself. The others went in pairs one to the left one to the right. But I was able to sit proudly on the middle of mine. Someone commented I looked king like. It's about time people started noticing.
After a 15 minute ride we dismounted. We were now going for a short jungle trek to a waterfall. Oh good! I thought - this will give me an opportunity to scope out the jungle where I intend to do a good stink of next week. I thought also that maybe the canopy would provide some welcome shelter from the overbearing sunshine.
The jungle was not what I expected. I suspect that my previous perception of the jungle was romanticized by television and books like the Jungle Book. I always considered it a fun and exciting place to be. The noise of animals was overwhelming - there are insects there that sound like circular saws and have about the same volume. 5 minutes into the trek I started to become completely overwhelmed by the heat and humidity. The canopy does not provide shelter from the sun. It locks in all its heat and I don't think its possible for the air to get any more humid. We
wandered past a gibbon rehabilitation centre and I said hello to a few of its residents. By the time we reached the waterfall I was drenched head to toe in sweat and starting to become very confused and disorientated (I'm sure the 15+ pints I knocked back yesterday played a large part in this). I was disappointed that the waterfall was a slow trickle and they told me to come back in monsoon season if I wanted to see it in its full glory. I was assured there were no leaches in the pool under the waterfall and took a quick dip to cool off. As my brain returned to normal functionality I sat and watched Thai children jump from the rocky outcrop 30 feet above me into the pool I was sitting in.Feeling slightly better I made my way out of the jungle. It was mostly downhill back and the thought of a glass of water kept me going. I drank two litres when we finally made it back to the man village. I'm never going to return to the jungle ever again. It's an evil and inhospitable environment suitable only for billions of biting ants, nasty reptiles and snakes who you would not want a bite from and the occasional Thai person who is foraging or extracting rubber from the abundant rubber trees. I have cancelled my jungle trek and instead intend to enjoy the luxury of
a decent hotel for the next couple of weeks.We got into the minibus and set off to our next location to do canoeing in a local estuary. I was considering sitting this one out as I felt like death - having been unable to eat since last night and just having endured the horror that is the jungle. However, when we got there I was pleased to see that if you wanted a Thai person would do all of the rowing for you. It's more of a gondola type service. We set off through the mangrove swamp looking out for jumping fish, fiddler crabs (them ones with one big and one small claw) and them strange missing link type fish that climb up out of the water onto the mud flats and walk along on their stumpy limbs.
On my return I went straight to McDonald's to rebuild myself. I'm feeling a little better now. But I'm absolutely shattered. Its an early night for me tonight. Although the boys are going out. Maybe I could have just one drink then?...
No comments:
Post a Comment